The words 'Solely Thriving' in two different fonts. Solely is black and white in bubble letters, Thriving is in pastel colors and gives the illusion of being painted on.

The problem with the feminist man

Educating all his woman followers in the ways of misogyny

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The feminist man is widely celebrated and doesn’t have to be problematic. But most modern online displays of man feminism do have some problematic aspects that I could no longer ignore. And what better subject to launch my Substack with than the controversial man feminist? He is loud, he punches incels, educates and monetizes off of women (yes). And sometimes he rocks a man bun while (allegedly) harassing his costars. Buckle up, guys. Cause this is the problem with the feminist man.

Ah, yes: the feminist man. Beloved by many, yet here I am to put him on blast.

Ever since allegations against Justin Baldoni came out, the feminist man has been on my mind a lot. Because Baldoni’s whole image was ‘feminist man’. He has a podcast about positive masculinity where he provides a safe space for men to explore who they are outside of the toxic standards of ‘manhood’. He has spoken up about women’s rights very publicly and even received an award (!) for his work as a feminist man.

Yet when his costar Blake Lively filed a complaint and a lawsuit against Baldoni about a smear campaign he allegedly started against the actress to bury the facts of what really happened on the set of ‘It Ends With Us’, the image of the ‘perfect man feminist’ was shattered for many.

Not only because a proud man feminist turned out to be ‘just another disappointing man’. The impact of the betrayal ran deeper…

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Combination of four illustrations that can be used as wallpapers on phones. One says "always fully myself" with a woman on a swing, one says "I design my own life" with a woman painting, one says "my boundaries are valid and magical" with a woman twisting a ribbon around her body, and the last one is a turtle on a beach, looking at the waves, that says "I take small steps to get to where I am going".

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My Substack

In the background is an illustration of a woman with red hair, looking back at the camera, wearing jewelry and makeup. Over the image the words "This is why your 'preference' in women might actually be a misogynistic beauty standard – how your innocent preferences could be perpetuating harmful beauty standards" are written. It also says "Image credits: Freepik" and "solelythriving.substack.com".
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Some of my art

Illustration with a colorful background. In a cloud is written "It takes time to become your unique, weird, cringy and happy self".
Illustration of different shapes. On top of the shapes is written: "when it comes to perfection, you set your own standard".
Illustration of a capibara sitting with wide, red eyes, holding his arms to his chest. Ghosts fly out from his arms and the words on the illustration read "Time to embrace my inner demons".
Illustration of a stomach with eyes and a little smile. Around the stomach are the words "I need you to listen to me", "Can anybody hear me?" and "hello?". The illustration reads: "Listen and trust your gut".
Illustration of a person, naked, on a swing. In the background is a rainbow in purple/pink colors and the clouds are pastel-colored. The person is surrounded by flowers. The drawing says: "I am always & fully myself"
Illustration of brown shapes in the background. This changes into some colorful shapes around the words "Imagine all the geat things you're missing out on trying to be normal".
Illustration of a turtle on a beach looking at the waves in the see in the distance. The illustration reads "I take small steps to get to where I am going".
Illustration that says "Do Not Silence That Weird Little Voice in Your Head". The text is in a cloud and the background is multicolored. Around the cloud are the words 'blablabla' repeated.
An illustration of the moon, smiling. Around it are clouds. In the moon the words are written: "If you feel overwhelmed, focus on your breating: in- and exhale control and feel the storm slowly settle".
Illustration with a colorful background. In the front there's a cloud with writing. It says: "I refuse to let another dream go to waste because I was too afraid what would happen if I let myself try"
Illustration with a pink background and the words "you can't hate yourself into loving yourself"
Illustration of a Queen playing card but instead of the regular icons, it says "no" and a red circle with a stripe. Around the card is barbed wire and it reads "Queen of Boundaries".
Colorful illustration with the words "Boundaries are about protecting yourself, not their feelings".
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